I can't hate

I write because I can’t speak
Which I know you find hard to believe
With my personality
Of out going ness and Fearlessness
But I can’t find the words

To say what I am thinking
What happens if you reject
The words that took me days to think of
And weeks for the courage, I needed
To say them

This mind comes with a cost
Of sleepless nights
Thinking till dawn
Evaluating everything before I do it
And Fear of losing the world

Remembering everything I do wrong
My heart comes with A dis claimer
Fast faller, Long recover
The forgiver and The lover
And my Soul gets the Short end of the stick

Again.
I stand alone
In the middle of the night
Thinking of the past
Never Content until

Your gone

Or you are completely mine
Because I can’t have the Hurt
I am not strong enough
I know you didn’t mean it

But As the tears stream down
I lay my life down
I show my fears to the world
Cross my comfort zone
Run away from it all

There are things I won’t deal with
There are fears I won’t face
There are hurts I refuse to Acknowledge
There are people I can’t see
And there is you, who I can’t hate.