I trust and sometimes I fly...

I spoke softly
Almost calmly
Bonding
Silently responding

Action by Action
We filled that whole with simple satisfaction
Closer and closer we grew
Things seem to peruse

I can’t fight this
I can’t help but look to old bliss
Bless your soul
I put you in control

He ran So I hid
We fought and that’s the end
To The sad story we all know
But I have to much to pride to let that show

Breath by breath we breathe
Sooner or later We believe
we can’t help but want
But we could not flaunt

Was it pride or shame
Guilt that pushed you away
I love and I cry
I trust and sometimes I fly

Will this never end
Continuously we were in sin
the fear of things failing
But eventually we are all prevailing

I no longer take a breath
The result to this will be death
Do you not remember when things were simple
But things they begin to cripple

We were close
Then exposed
We saw the truth
Lost all our youth

The doors close
That’s the ending of the show
The shadows become reality
And I become my enemy

I Self destructive
And we must Reconstruct
I fear That this time I should confess
I hope this is a success

I will no longer hide
The Faith it will rise
The Trust will fall
These were the last things I recall

Mercy and grace
I seek no embrace
No longer suppress Those memories
Of all my insecurities

The face you once saw
Yes it had many flaws
All the Promises, all The lies
The things I want to say that are lost in my mind

Falling from the skies
I trust and then We begin to fly
I once heard you are me And I am you
That is when I knew

Doubt is coming
That’s when we will go running
I have a lot of fear I know
But I promise I will no longer let that show.

many moons ago..

He asked me softly
As the tears ran down
In between my sobs
And my mindless questions

How many times must he do this?
Until you leave and don't look back
Have you ever asked him?
How many other girls must He try?

How many people must tell him no
Before he realizes your the one…
The angel Fallen from heaven
That no one could do better

How could he pass this up?
Leave you like this
He doesn't desrve you,
But I didn't listen.. I never do

I defended you
I said your finding yourself
Looking in other doors
And as they close mine will open

Like a loop in time
The pain over and over again
Doing things set in repeat
The same feelings must end

Your wrong we could be
Just like old days Together again
Dancing in the rain faliing in love
but after so long does it become a sin

I've trusted you
Through everything
Been here when you need me
And sat patiently

Do you honesyly want me
my door is always open
must I shut it before you want it?
Will you close it once it opens?

Don't you ever feel like me?
Like we are a movie everyone's watching
On the edge of their seats
Waiting for the hapily after ending.

But that's not this movie
It's been scratched
And it's like a CD stuck on repeat
Playing the same sad song over again

Didn't you hear?
On that night many moons ago
You broke my heart
So this is how I know...

We we are the suprise ending
To the sad show
The one where no one saw it coming
Where it's never a joyful closing

You only see me when you need me
But will you ever want me
Have you ever noticed you run to me in pain?
When they all hurt you

You come crying to me
If I were like the rest
I wouldn't let you come back
I would turn you away

But I keep letting my shoulder
Be your resting place
So leave me be.
Let me be free.

Do you remember me?

I don’t know If you know this,
But you’re the reason why.
The reason My heart keeps beating today.
Why I am still in this world Instead of leaving
Your everything that kept me alive
Breathing and remembering
　
Everything that’s love struck.
But we fuck up
And then we will all go away
To not waste our days
Thinking of what I’ll Do
Running from my fears.
Wiping away my many tears
　　
You cared for me
And Showed me what trust is
Love is why I am still here
Alive standing here
Acting like my life is so dear.
　　
Caring about you is what keep me up at night
Counting the stars
Wondering if you ask me.
The question I‘ve waited so long to here
　
Will you ever ask if I will be yours.
Were better as friends
We both know it.
But god knows I wish it wasn’t true
　　
Flesh to Flesh the warmth of my skin comes off
And I wonder when I will no longer be caught
in the gaze of our eyes,
It never breaks
　
Because I am traped in my thoughts
In escapable
I am falling into deep thought
Sitting there looking at you
　
Loving every single moment of silence
That passes by
Stuck in the moment
Holding it forever
　
Remember the days you walked away
But you cam back you held me
You showed me I was strong
Strong enough to go in to the world
　
How I am someone new
I’m not like the rest of you
Waiting to be taken away
Black white
Fading to gray
I won’t be like you people
　
You Taught me that.
As you let go of my hand
I grasp tighter
Because I know I am scared
　
I realized at that moment
As the wind took up and the sun seted
As you left me
　
Because it was my time
To go into the world
That I needed you
To keep me strong
To be my guide into the world
　
You showed me beauty
I thought was impossible
But the hand fell and I
Am here all alone
　
And it seemed like God failed me
It seem like all was lost
I knew that I needed you
It was the one things in life
That I knew to always be true
　
But I went in to the scary world
All alone looking for some support
Hoping more than anything you made me strong enough

And then when I was about to fall
When I was about to fail it all
I realized god didn’t fail me
Because at those last seconds of failure
When I was about to give in
You came back and held my hand again.

Lets all fly together...

Lets all fly together to the where we belong,
let's all stand up and sing the same song,
But when I look behind me to find my crowd of followers...
It's nothing but black and white, the dust and air as the rain falls
I look forward at a million people they all look the same blank faces
I look in down I am full of color
I know this
I would rather be the one every one stare laugh at
Because I am different
Than be lost and not know who I really am.
I won’t be just another face in the crowd.
I would rather have someone talk about how much they hate me than not remember me at
all.
I want to see the world change colors
I want to see the birds fly.
Lets go away fly into the sky.
Take a risk fall into the arms of someone,
Meet love,
Follow your dreams
See the Colors in the sky youv'e never seen
Imagine you in the place you want to be,
Lets all fly together to the where we belong,
let's all stand up and sing the same song
Sometimes it's not about holding on tightly so you don't lose them,
sometimes it's about letting them fly away
Because if you keep them they will only cause you pain.

The Shadow That Judges Me...

The Shadow That Judges Me
There is a Shadow following me
Where can I run to
Where can I hide
They look to me with a slight
Speck of hope in there eyes
I am role model to some
To others I am a annoyance
I am a disgrace
but told a blessing
A accident in matters
A Hopeless person
Stuck in this body
The people judge with knowing
Anything about what is going on
What should I do
Keep giving advise
Keep silently screaming
Not talk about it
Matters could get worse
if they are expose
Let out a secret
Betray someone's trust
Run away
Or stay close
Go away in fear
Stay with fear
Looking courageous
only one person
Has a glimpse
Knows I cry
Have to stay strong
Keep my appearance like I have
With out flaws
Nothing looks as if it bothers
Me until I say
It dose
I never speak those words cuss words to my ears
But I never do speak those words
So should I go or stay
Talk or keep quit
Scream or let go
Hide or Come out?
You tell me.
The shadow that judges me

Crossroads

I never lied to you
Did I ever say I really fell in love with you
I am lost without you
But I am sorry I have to leave
I can't do this anymore
I can't barely breathe
(chorus)
I am staring down that open road
Slowly getting closer to the crossroads
Where my life will judge me
Did I end this for nothing
Or everything?
But in the end
I will always love you
Looking through the glass
Having you staring back
Killing me leaving you there
Can I save the one I made damned?
You were left Apart broken never the same
Why do all my feelings all seem so jammed?
(chorus)
I am staring down that open road
Slowly getting closer to the crossroads
Where my life will judge me
Did I end this for nothing
Or everything?
But in the end
I will always love you
The roads are narrowing
Changing getting wider
It makes it harder to go on
Knowing you will live
Kills me but keeps me alive
Will you ever be able to Forgive
(chorus)
I am staring down that open road….(road)
Slowly getting closer (Getting closer) to the crossroads
Where my life will judge me (will you judge me)
Did I end this for nothing
Or everything? (everything or nothing)
But in the end (the end)
I always loved you
　

Holidays

Holidays are something to dread
My feelings have become dead
How did you find out to
I have no more reasons to do what I do
Crying with my head on the floor
You comfort me and then I need you more
It is so hard to see the hope there
Why did you actually start to care
I am standing in the dark looking for light
I am holding on to you with all my might
The l glass window is cold it feels good
I just feel so misunderstood
When did I become someone people be love
I am lonely and undreamed of
This is no surprise
I have no allies
I used to someone people would taunt
Now I am someone people want
Where did my friends come from
I guess I do whatever may come